my mouth tastes like poor choices
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
