I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
