Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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