The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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