Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
