I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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