Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
