the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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