you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Two words: blizzard sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
