Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
