i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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