worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
