I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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