actually, I'm a sock model
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
