I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize