He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
