ADVERTISEMENT

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.

  Fav 70 2048 2970

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

  Fav 13 5069 1301

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

  Fav 26 5522 2090

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there not mine if that helps

  Fav 6 2536 1191

  share tweet
  

• (316): View more from Kansas

  Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been

  Fav 3 874 608

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night

  Fav 3 984 801

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face

  Fav 10 931 631

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

  Fav 0 1160 605

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

  Fav 3 940 583

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother

  Fav 13 925 684

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.

  Fav 4 208 154

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water

  Fav 2 16 52

  share tweet
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.

  Fav 0 23 36

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.

  Fav 0 46 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.

  Fav 0 39 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize