Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
