i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
