I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize