No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
