playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
