He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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