Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
