Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
