Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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