She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
