Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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