is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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