Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
