I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
