I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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