Dual....:-)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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