he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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