Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
