The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
