I want to walk on stilts...naked
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
