it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she peed on how many people?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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