Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
