We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We left the knife in your bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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