I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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