absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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