I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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