I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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