can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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