Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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