So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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