She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
