Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
