she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
