So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
