So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have already put on my inside pants.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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