some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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