Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize