So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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