We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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