dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
