Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
