Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
