if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
