Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
