is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
