I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
