Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
