i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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