this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
