Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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