Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
