Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
